Facing Shadows

When I was growing up in the sixties, the shadow of the atomic bombs dropped on Japan still hung in the air, the shock of them was painful and real to my parent’s generation. There was a sense that this should never happen again, we could not inflict such devastation on any country as was inflicted upon Japan.

Yet, they carried on making these shadows, this time across Pacific islands, displacing innocent people in the name of peace for future generations. A display of bravado, my bomb is bigger than yours. We called it mad because it was. They called it mad and gave it a new meaning, mutually assured destruction. Oh, that’s good, we’re safe then.

Many years later a wall came down and it turned out that ‘our bombs’ were indeed bigger. So can we stop playing now? Can we drop this ridiculous idea? Can we start talking about peace for future generations, instead of posturing?

For a while things did seem to quieten down but there were still lots of repressive regimes and debauched dictators about. World peace had not really been achieved. And for a very good reason: you cannot buy world peace, you cannot force world peace, you cannot expect to bring about world peace at the point of a gun. You just make people angry and frustrated, you just sow the seeds of unrest and anger, you are creating a powder keg and soon, very soon, it will blow up in your face.

ooOOOoo

Now I’m in my sixties. I’ve been praying for peace all my life but I scan the headlines today and I see only fear and anger and frustration. There is war, there are displays of military might, there is civil unrest. Everyone pointing the finger at someone else along their chain of command because that is much easier than taking responsibility for what you are doing.

So I have to ask myself, am I at peace? Do I lead a peaceful life? Do I make people feel better, happier, more content? Do I empower people to live better more fulfilling lives, find solutions, heal themselves. Do I have enough love in my heart, do I spread joy?

I hope I am, I hope I do. Because, if this is not the case, then I am part of the problem.

ooOOOoo

Having written this I took a long walk and “I turned myself to face me” and hoped for more than a glimpse.* Most of us―probably all of us―carry baggage. The rucksack in which we carry it is given to us at birth and we have a tendency to guard it as our birthright.
“Let it go.”
Daft idea! There are a lot of memories in there. My parents, my childhood, my schooling, my whole working and social life.
“Let it go.”
But this is me, this is my life!
“Let it go.”

ooOOOoo

I am meditating, I have asked about Beltane and how to celebrate the forthcoming season. I am sitting in the centre of the Earth in the fiery realm. There are dancers on the red magma floor of the ballroom, leaping and laughing. They are full of the energy that is arising in all of nature, full of the excitement that is May time. It is infectious. I get up and join them.

As they spin me round and around my rucksack falls to the floor and is engulfed in flames. Suddenly I re-find my joy, I am laughing, light and happy.

May you be blessed this Beltane.

*Reference leave you cold? Check out Bowie’s Changes.