The New Year always spikes a plethora of articles about making resolutions, lamenting the fact that we rarely keep to them. You may have heard me say in previous years that the middle of winter is not the best time to make resolutions; much better to work with the seasons and leave that until Imbolc comes in February.
So I was interested to read an article in the New Scientist (No.3569, November 2025), about goal setting, entitled “Knowing When To Quit”.
Apparently, our obsession with self-improvement goal setting can be traced back to a book by Samuel Smiles written in 1859 called “Self-Help”. The idea of true grit and determination to improve oneself sparked many imitators and still influences us today. The article points out that we tend to admire people who set a goal and go for it no matter what.
But, it goes on to say, times are changing and there is now a growing body of research expounding the advantages of knowing when to quit. It’s all very well pushing ourselves to achieve a goal, but there has to come a point when we step back and realise that this is not the path we are meant to be on and if we continue, we are in danger of giving ourselves serious health issues. The article was not about encouraging us to give up, but about adjusting our mindset to something more appropriate and not being afraid to head in a different direction.
What it implied but did not put into words was that humans need to follow their heart, not their head.
Our heart is the part of us that knows which path is the right one for us to take. Our heart is tuned in to our soul, our greater self. The part that knows why we came to Earth for an incarnational experience.
Our mind, on the other hand, has been created by our experiences in the physical world. It only understands what happened before and makes judgement accordingly. Whilst this is a very good defensive mechanism for fight or flight options, it leaves no room for entertaining another way of being.
So how do we untangle ourselves from the mind’s knee-jerk reactions?
Heart Math Institute has an answer to this. The assumption in the scientific world has always been that the brain dominates how the body works, but, says their website, “Research has shown that the heart communicates to the brain in four major ways: neurologically (through the transmission of nerve impulses), biochemically (via hormones and neurotransmitters), biophysically (through pressure waves) and energetically (through electromagnetic field interactions)”. (Chapter 01: Heart-Brain Communication | HeartMath Institute)
It is a fascinating discovery. The heart has its own brain (a neural network) which is not affected by our experience but by the way we feel. When we are experiencing joy, compassion, gratitude, and love, we override the brain’s stress mechanism.
Or to put it more succinctly, fear cannot exist in a state of joy.
The fight, flight, freeze mentality has brought humans to the place we are in now. Where we are not sure who to trust, where we have created weapons that could actually destroy our planet, where many people are living at a constant level of stress wondering how to make ends meet or find a safe haven.
This state of mind is amplified by the way The News is brought to us. Doom and gloom make headlines far more loudly than acts of kindness and charity. This accent on the darker side of humanity in headlines served a purpose when we lived in small communities where communication between us was carried no faster than a horse could gallop. We needed to know if there was a “bad ‘un” on the loose. But with our present-day news being instant and global, we are aware of all the “bad ‘uns” in every part of the planet. This high-stress information needs to be counterbalanced by news about the “good ‘uns” in order to give us perspective. We need to remember that the vast majority of people on this planet are just like us, family people who are happy to help their neighbour. Most of us are the “good ‘uns”.
So if you want to make a resolution for this new year, may it include taking tiny breaks to destress and listen to your heart.
How?
It only takes a couple of minutes here and there. For example, you have just parked the car and are about to go into the supermarket. Before you go in, stop, take about three deep breaths, allow your shoulders to come down, let go of the day’s tick-list, and allow yourself to ‘be in the moment’. You will get a sense of expansion as the heart opens, and then you can listen to what it is trying to tell you.
There are many opportunities during the day: when you are waiting for the kettle to boil to make a cup of tea: stop, breathe, listen; at a red traffic light; a visit to the bathroom; morning and evening ablutions; listening to ‘on-hold’ music; standing in a queue. Before you know it, you have listened to your heart four or five times a day. You will soon find it easier to be aware of your heart’s guidance; it will start to happen automatically.
So, remember that you are part of this vast, vast Universe; you have a right to connect with it, and your heart knows the way.
Many blessings be with you in 2026.